I was really cold for a while. Deep inside of me I felt this numbness and lack of caring or interest for pretty much everybody. I was fucking around dating a lot of people, drinking too much, taking too much Mandy and partying insanely just to forget.
My mind, my heart and my soul were in 3 different places, but it was okay, I liked it. I liked acting like the guy, not giving a shit, not calling you back, being late and nonchalant. I liked treating people how people treated me for a while and feeling on top of my emotions.
But was I really? No. I’m not that kind of person, I have love in my heart, a lot, that I want to share with someone. Someone to do nice things for and take care of, someone to be my sidekick to go on adventures with.
And now I’m starting to feel again, aligning my life and finding my comfort. My heart and my mind are on the same level and now I want something real.
But we’re the iPhone generation, living too fast, anxiety all over the place. We’re all terrified of each other, getting hurt or even just putting yourself out there. This shit should be easy ‘I like you’ why is that so hard to say? Or so hard to feel?!
I dont know, I’m coming down right now and maybe just feeling needy. Comedown cuddles would be amazing right now, comedown sex would be even better!